Hope In the Moment; Hope in the Aftermath

"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold"- 2 Corinthians 3:12

          A month has passed since I packed two suitcases, the contents of which—along with a few new purchases, took me through my time in Vietnam. I left this place, more burdened about the future and my next steps, than a sense of dread of leaving a place where I invested almost 6 months of myself in.  Colourful photos shared depicted the visual environment around me: a complex web of nature and the industrial, of tradition and modernity, of the hierarchy of wealth and issues of social justice. Still, my time there holds poignant moment tinges of frustration and sadness I thought I'd share.

            The cultural environment I came to know proved difficult on many levels, and there’s a negative side of how things function there--as there is in every culture, that I got to see up-close. There were few places I felt as though I could be myself, not get stared or pointed at, or approached in public not because of people’s interest as me as an individual, but to ask questions regarding my race. Having had most of my travel experience in South-East Asia, and experienced this particular issue before, I thought I’d be able to deal with it a lot better. I found that the frequency and the way in which it was done, often aggressive, was overwhelming. I found it difficult to deal with the sense of isolation, as the city is segregated into communities of locals, diplomats, Asian-expats, ‘Other’ expats, the teaching-English crowd, and the over-indulgent foreigners who come for drugs, sex and all things counter-productive. I struggled with how people are made to feel fearful to speak up about things that are unjust, that impact their work, their daily decisions, and their lives. Yet they endure it, in the interest of their family and themselves.  In being there, my concept of what constitutes human rights was repeatedly challenged, and I don’t think the questions and queries that Vietnam has stirred in me will be resolved easily.  Yet, I saw how determined many people are to make a way and challenge things in the safest; best way they know how, and how this can yield positive results for them.

            Deciding to share in more detail  some of the ‘messy bits’ of living and working in a different country is always a challenge for me. Words have the ability, even unintentionally, taint others views in some way. Still, I think it’s important to share these challenges to those who’ve kept up on this journey with me, and a bit selfishly, to be honest with myself. Thich Nhat Hanh once remarked:

“Life can be found only in the present moment. 
The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”

Such a sentiment encompasses what I often had to will myself, and be encouraged to do: see my time there, the good and the unpleasant as part of my present, a moment that won’t be relived elsewhere. 

           I entitled this blog ‘Hope as A Constant Motion', a thought that struck me as I had begun to prepare myself in the months prior to arriving in Vietnam. Now, it means more to me than I could have predicted. ‘Hope as A Constant Motion’ describes in totality what my time in Ho Chi Minh City was. I’ve been encouraged, broken down, laughed, cried, learnt and taught. I have resented life and the injustices it can bring to people, and found new reasons to believe as people, despite the ‘odds’ transform life and empower themselves. I’ve seen new life come to fruition, and experienced varying depths of grief from losing others to death. For most of my time there, I struggled daily with the thought of losing my grandfather, and not being present with him when he needed it most, because I was investing time in this internship. The belief he showed in his support of me pursing my future, gave me hope, and willed me on when I wanted to abandon it all. My last phone-calls, jokes, ‘Hi Joy-Joy’s’ and smiles with and from him on video chat were all experienced in my apartment in Ho Chi Minh City, all of which I look back on and I'm thankful for.

            My last weekend in Ho Chi Minh City was spent with most of the persons that made Vietnam a positive experience for me. I can’t think of a better way I could have spent this time. Their presence in my life, their words and gestures, are engrained in my ever-evolving life-story, and I truly believe God was doing purpose work that we encountered each other.

Great final memories in Vietnam :)

             I’ve learnt that its not always about the quantity of those that surround you, but the quality of the people. I was able to surround myself there with a handful of the kindest, most selfless persons I have ever met. I was reminded of those people who were in my life prior to my travel to Vietnam, who had and continue to pour love, encouragement and challenging words of wisdom on me. For all and in all these things I am hopeful and will tell myself to walk in faith and be hopeful in all things. Thanks for sharing this experience with me: for listening ears, reading, uplifting words and profound insight, and overall supporting me from afar.

Love,

Joy :)

Times of a Project Officer

"Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. 

All life is an experience"- Ralph Waldo Emerson    

Habitat for Humanity: 'A world where everyone has a decent place to live'

             No amount of pre-arrival planning could have prepared me for the scope of work that I’ve been exposed to. I think that if I knew about all the things I would end up working on, I would have had more time to brood on whether I could do it or not. While my main role as a project officer was to coordinate all the logistics pertaining to the Women’s Build Research, I’ve gained valuable exposure to a range of areas such as budgeting, project analysis, assisting with donor reporting and grant writing, stakeholder interviews, and data analysis. I’ve also gotten to expand on my gender analysis skills, providing gender sensitive feedback in program evaluation.

            The culmination of my time at Habitat approaches swiftly, with one week at the office left. While I did at many times doubt if I could handle some of the tasks given—especially the ones that were completely new, I can see that I’ve gained confidence in my approach to work. In many ways I’ve been challenged, reminded of my strengths and made aware of areas of growth as I go on professionally. Having a supportive supervisor—who was patient and willing to let me learn constantly, helped greatly.  I was made to feel a part of decision-making processes—and as a result, gained a lot of insight.

            I sense that although I have five days left at the office, my learning is not done here. My work at Habitat has been more varied than I anticipated it would have been, thanks to the range of new opportunities that were presented to me. Characterized by new exposure, strong points and learning curves, I feel assured that even with its challenges, this has been a good thing. What I have learnt here professionally-and personally, will lend to the preparation for what’s next on my journey.

Life, Loss & The Grace In-between

 My dearth of writing came from a place of feeling overwhelmed by what life had produced in such a short space of time. A part of my hesitancy to write came from the need to guard myself from the reality of what was happening. Once you bear yourself and your thoughts to those in your world, its hard to ever recall this part of yourself you’ve given over.

In a month’s time, I went from celebrating the newness of life-- as one of my colleagues gave birth to her son, to mourning the unexpected loss of the friendly guard on staff at the office. Each day, he was the first person to greet everyone at the office and the last person to say farewell to. Such an exchange became a part of my daily life here, and despite whatever happened from 9:30am-5:30 pm that day, I always left with a smile on my face, thanks to his big smile and warm farewells. His untimely passing became all to real as I came to work the day I found out, and found another guard sitting where he sat, just two days ago. My struggle with his loss and the fact that death comes so swift and unexpected was exasperated by a personal struggle that stretched continents. 


I had recently found out from my family that my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer, and that it was ‘too far gone’. While ‘Too far gone’ captures the severity of the stage of the disease, the vagueness of this was unkind. All I could do was try to be ‘present’ to him and my family through phone calls marked by all too frequent drops in internet connection. I prayed and hoped that I could see him in person soon, and I know, thanks to conversations that I had with my granddad, that he wished the same. I was here in Vietnam when I got the call that my grandfather passed away. Since then, the last two weeks have been foggy, and somewhat distant, between long plane rides, jet lag and saying final farewells as we laid him to rest. To struggle with why he passed when he did and not getting to be in his presence seems like self-torment. Should I have not come to Vietnam and thus been closer to home so I could have gotten there sooner? Then, I remember how with each phone call, despite how ill he was feeling, he’d always ask how I was doing, how work was going, and reminded me to keep at it. To any sense of reservation on my part, he’d often quip his life mantra ‘Let not your heart be troubled'. Besides my faith, family and support from friends, this has been the hope I’ve held on to.

‘I do not at all understand the mystery of grace - 

only that it meets us where we are,

 but does not leave us where it found us’

                                                                                           - Anne Lamott

I’ve seen grace manifested and multiplied, coming at the most unexpected and most needed moments, from loved ones and strangers. My supervisor—and now a dear friend, stayed with me every moment after the wake of finding out of my granddad’s passing until I went through security to board my flight. With a 14-hour lay-over, the travel agent when I went to change my return flight did a last minute booking for me to stay in their complimentary airport hotel in South Korea. For visa miracles that made it possible for family members living in distant countries to be there at the funeral and just for the family and friends that surround me, I am grateful and ever reminded that life abounds with grace.

I’m less than two weeks from ending my internship in Vietnam, 19 days away from graduation and less than a month away from ending life as a student—for now, and facing a new beginning. In many ways, I don’t know how and where this new beginning will take place. Before all that has happened, I was overly consumed with ‘What’s next?’, spending countless hours job hunting and coming up with a ‘life plan’ of sorts. Now, I’ve been reminded that my life is not my own. I should live each day grateful for where I am, the people that are in my life, and where I am going. While many things in the near future remain unclear and there’s still a tinge of anxiety around this, I constantly hear my granddad words, ‘Let not your heart be troubled’ willing me on. I hope, in all things, to daily walk with a heart replete with grace and to ‘live freely, love deeply’ like he did.

‘I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere I go you go, my dear)’

                                                                                                  -E.E Cummings

A Time for Boostin' Egos

 Cambodia, its so good to see you again

           The 6 hour bus ride to Phnom Penh, Cambodia was to extend my Vietnam Visa. Once I checked-in at the hotel, I made my way to the embassy. Long waiting times for visa? This was the exception, as my visa took all of 20 minutes to get approved. I wasn’t expecting to be so short of a wait, and I was able to go back to the street the hotel was located at, have lunch and read for an hour. Also, all the hotels on this road had the name ‘Golden’ in it, so I know refer to it as ‘Golden Street’.

            Three of my classmates are based in Cambodia, two in Phnom Penh: Jennie and ‘Shauna and one outside Siem Reap: Sayaka. It worked out that we’d all be in the city that weekend! I could not have asked for a better time in Phnom Penh, good company, good food, laughs and the best advice.  Hearing what everyone was doing, how they were addressing the challenges of living and working in a foreign country allowed us to be supportive (in person) of each other. It also helped all of us put our thoughts on a lot of things into perspective.

Celebrating over dinner! :)

            By the end of the day, thanks to all the votes of confidence and positivity we mutually gave and received, we had a good dose of our ego's being boosted. Sometimes this is needed, to get out of your head and away from self-critique and have people honestly acknowledge your strengths. Despite graduation being around the corner and our concerns about our career path afterwards, we all agreed we are young and determined. We’re competent young women about to enter our careers full-time. Watch out world! :)

Catching up over one of our coffee outing in the city!

              The weekend reminded me of how blessed I am to be surrounded by such strong individuals—like all of the other ‘Globies’ from our program, posted around the world right now. For this I’m thankful, and I’m encouraged daily by such giving, sincere hearts. Also each of these ladies are hilarious in their own way and we had some serious belly-hurting laughter :) Thanks for hosting more good times Cambodia!

A Loss that was & Forever will be

            I am surrounded by the calm sounds of birds chirping, the distant chug of tuk-tuks coming to a halt along the gravel road.  Ever so often, the scraping noise of the footsteps of fellow curious tourists intrudes. Upon entering, the genocide center asks for all observers to be quiet. We were each handed a headset and a device, in which we would select the number that corresponds to the signs along the way...

The listen device that was distributed

            The coexistence of the serene environment at that present moment and the haunting of a bloody, hate-filled past makes for a tense atmosphere. Too moved to cry, too moved to speak. There I sat at one of Cambodia’s hundreds of killing fields from under the rule of the Khmer Rouge. In this moment I feel defeated as eerie words fill my head as I listen to the audio I’ve been given:

‘To keep you is no gain.

To lose you is no loss.’

            These are the words of Pol Pot, the leader of the Khmer Rouge. The result was genocide, mass killings of 1.7 million people—approximately 20% the population, between 1975—1979. This is recent history, not far removed from you and I, and the reality of this presses me. I almost missed out on being there and having this life-defining moment, for fear that it would be too charged of an experience to handle on my own. My visit to the genocide museum in the capital of Phnom Penh provided the first confirmation that I needed to go, as well as the urging of a friend. I silently prayed for the strength that I would be able to cope with what I would encounter…

            The audio of survivors recalling seeing the family members murdered, explicit details of the killing tactics and the knowledge that every time it rains, more bones surface, replays in my mind. A part of me wants to shake this wretched feeling, that humans can be so evil. A part of me wants me to remember it, store it in my memory. 

Part of the audio at this part made the remark to the effect of : 'Its as if even in death their souls cannot rest in peace'

I never want to lose sight or give up on learning about the world’s injustices, and trying to figure out how I can play a part in addressing them. Maybe I’ll feel overpowered by it all. Maybe I’ll feel like giving up. There’s the fear of being overwhelmed by the ghastly reality that many people live in. We bear witness too all of this, but it comes down to a personal choice on how we will let it shape our thoughts and our actions. 

Along the route, audio, explaining the history, accompanied signs

             I am often overwhelmed with how emotionally charged I can get about people, their rights and their freedoms. I question if I am and will be capable of turning such feelings into action. I know that I need to get better at defining boundaries in terms of being able to say I’ve done all I can for one day and put aside things for tomorrow. Making time for what I love, the people I love and new things to love as I evolve also needs to be a priority. ‘Save the world’ is not a complex I want to develop, but I do want to be mindful of the things that need changing. At the end of the day, I want to be able to say that even with mistakes, I’ve done what I can, when I can.  

            Overcoming the initial hesitancy to visit the killing fields was a positive step; and I left feeling convicted—in a healthy way, about many things. The self-guided tour ended at a monument, built to commemorate the lives lost.

Entrance to the killing field and the memorial 

 I purchase flowers to pay respect. Seventeen levels of shelves held the fractured skulls of thousands of deceased, evident of signs of applied blunt force and trauma. These are but a few of millions killed, but the effect is the same: this was real and the consequences remain an ever-present force in the lives of those who survived, their families and Cambodia as a nation.

Entrance & Inside the memorial

To learn more about the genocide in Cambodia, Pol Pot & The Khmer Rouge:

 Khmer Rouge History: Cambodia Tribunal


(P.S I apologize if this post seems a bit incoherent and all over the place in terms of content!).

'Cai Luong'-To Transform

            Art, whether taking in the varied expressions of another artist, or painting or drawing my own, it makes me at home wherever I go; providing a serene space. After a rough couple of weeks, I finally had enough energy to go out during the day this weekend. I told myself, even if it was for a few hours, I needed to go out and stick to my plan of visiting as many Art galleries as I possibly could. Saturday morning, after devouring some left-over food from Ganesh, one of the city’s best Indian restaurant’s just across the street, I made my way to De Tam street, where a gallery called  ‘Galerie Quynh’ was located. I wasn’t too sure where it was located in comparison to my bearings of the city, but it was in District 1, so it couldn’t be to far off.

           As the taxi came to a slow place, turned left and starting to make it’s way through the backpacker district, I started to cringe. I had recently been there with my friend Lauren, and we both disliked our hour spent there. An artificial oasis of all things tourist, streets strewn with hostels, dinky bars, travel agencies; this place is over-run with the type of tourists that don’t care about their actions and are mostly here for the wrong reasons. As insular as my living in District 1 can be, and I recognize the privilege of living in this ‘good area’ of town, I still feel and experience Vietnam. There, I felt out of place, a different type of out of place I’ve felt in my time here…

            I arrived at Galerie Qunyh, and from across the street it looked closed. The taxi driver was unsure as well, so I decided to tell him to wait, and I would walk out to check and see if it was open. I was happy and relieved to see someone behind the front desk, and signaled to the taxi driver that it was open, who waved, smiled and drove off. I entered the gallery and took a deep breath in, overwhelmed by the heat outside and then taking in the burst of cool air. The sudden visual encounter of the art-strewn walls was welcomed and I was happy that this current exhibit featured a range of local and foreign artists.  A gallery on two levels, the first was mainly illustrations, from ink and watercolour, and a few charcoal drawings. The art work on the second floor was my favourite part of this exhibit. The artist I was most drawn to was Hoang Du'ong Cam. The series is  entitled 'Cai Luong', which means 'Transform’.

One of the featured pieces of Cai Luong ' To Transform'

I loved this piece, hence the shameless self portrait of me in front of it!

            Before leaving, I signed up for the next exhibit opening, thanks to the coaxing of  a pleasant staff, a Canadian-born but bearing a strong Australian accent after living there for several years. After my time there, I walked—cautious of my environment as the gallery was a little bit past the backpacker’s area, and made my way back up to the main street, stopping to take a few photos and browsing stores along the way. I treated myself to lots of window-shopping and a bit of actual shopping--including a hand-made beaded ring, which the store-owner said when I put it on ‘That looks so nice on you! It suits you!’ Maybe it was just  to seal the deal, but I bought it—literally, as I do think it looked really good! My trip was a bit short-lived, as I still get tired really quickly thanks to my friend, the parasite.

The view on my walk back

           I was happy I went, and from that visit, I left feeling content with the work I just got to see, and inspired to commit to making time for art more of a habit for myself after graduation. I’ve found out about several galleries I want to visit before I leave. Did I mention I have less than 2 months left? I need to start checking MORE things of my bucket list. This week, although not so excited about the long bus ride to get there, I’ll be thankful that a trip to Phnom Penh, Cambodia—made necessary by needing to extend my visa, will allow me to definitely see two of my friends from BC, possibly three! I’m definitely looking forward to seeing familiar faces and being around their warm and funny personalities again!

Parasites in Vietnammm

Vietnammm: Food-delivery at its best!

           So the last week and a half has been the most dull and I have nothing exciting or challenging in terms of work/culture to report about my experience here. Getting sick is one of the worst parts in a cross-cultural experience. Let’s just say, I have been pushed well pass the ‘honey-moon phase’ of cultural shock. I’m currently in the ‘I don’t want to be here’ phase, thanks to the less than wanted presence of a parasite.  Yes, a parasite, which has resulted in me working from home this whole time, having to avoid the sun thanks to a medication to help prevent one potential side effect of it.
           Avoiding the sun, in Vietnam? In the start of the hot season? Oh Yes, this will turn out well…and by that I mean I’ve literally only left my apartment when the sun goes down, as it is so unbelievably hot right now. I get no natural sun-light where I’m saying, so I’ve taken to calling this time as my ‘bat cave’ days. I usually am more optimistic in terms of personality, but not this week at all. I’ve realized that I also get more homesick and want familiar things around me when I get really sick when travelling/ living abroad. It'll be a few weeks before the parasite actually goes away but I finished the first round of medication already! Despite being miserable and whiny, and basically a hot mess this entire time, there are a few things that managed to make me forget--at least temporarily, how awful I was feeling:

• Technology: Face-time= best 99 cents ever spent on an app! Its been so good to actually see faces of family and friends and the connection allows for!! Skype—I still appreciate you, even though you usually fail miserably at making video-calls and even voice calls here, but you worked great a few times this week. Also! G-chat and google phone. Thank the Lord for technology hear?!
• Vietnammm: a lovely food-delivery website my supervisor introduced me to a while ago. I hadn’t used it until this week, as I’d usually walk around after work to go find dinner. However, I started using it to order lunch! I’ve tried about 3 new restaurants thanks to the website, and the delivery is flawless! My new favorite is ‘The Black Cat’, ‘In the top 10 of CNN’ the slogan reads. I’ve also been able to specify what things I’m allergic to so its not in my food, which has been hard to really control in most of my time being here.
• Seeing Cover-Drive on TV: ‘Cover-Drive’ is a great band from home, Barbados, that’s I’ve been following since their cover-days on YouTube. They were signed to a label, and have been doing big things—Bajan Style!, on the music scene especially in the UK and that side of the world. Well I randomly turned on the TV and it was still on a music-video channel, and a video was ending. Then literally, I heard: ‘TWILIGGHHTTTT!!!! I’M LOVIN DIS TWILLIGHTTTTT!!!’ and see Cover Drive’s music video!!! I couldn’t believe it!!! I was soooo excited for them!!! Also, it was good to hear a tinge of a Bajan accent blasting from the TV!! From Bimrock— 166 square miles, to UK, and beyond even up in Vietnam!!!! Represent!!!
• Data-Entry: For work, I've been entering data for some research that was conducted earlier. I also have to do charts for each of the questions, and as tedious as data entry can be, my 'Work Jams' play-list has helped me pass this time well.

           If you haven't lost interest in this post yet, just in-case I'll end here as this is a poor attempt at making this blog-entry entertaining.  I was supposed to go to Singapore just for fun this weekend, but was too sick to handle it, which was disappointing. However, thinking of the cup 1/2 full- right A.E.E Venkatesh ;). Hoping to make it there before I leave!! Also, I have less than three months left here, so its been fun trying to think of where I can manage to go visit next. Potentially, I'll be do some travelling at the end of April with Lauren, who's also based in Vietnam-- but 6 hrs away ! I also have to extend my visa, so will need to go to Cambodia again to do that, but this time it’ll be Phnom Penh! Two of my other friends from BC Shauna and Jennie are based there, so I cannot wait to hopefully see both of them soon— possibly next week once I get my approval letter! Thanks for putting up with my bit of a rant and my attempt to think of highlights from this week! :P

Research Time: Habitat, Women & Housing

Women's Build Research Team!

            In the time-span of two months, I’ve accumulated well over 100 e-mails which includes something along the lines of ‘Women’s Build’ in it. I have a heightened level of respect for people who’s daily work is logistic centered, as it is time-consuming, requires a lot of patience, and willingness to make multiple corrections to ‘final versions’ of things. All to make sure things run as smoothly as possible. I was in charge of facilitating most of the logistics pertaining to the research and this was a broad range of things. I ended up doing budgeting—detail all our expenses for the trip, finalizing copies of our research agenda to send to government officials and collecting base-line data from some of our staff at our offices across the country.  For a lot of the logistics work, I could not hesitate to ask for help because of the language barrier. I don’t know how I would have gotten everything done without willing, helpful hands. I felt in over my head at several points, but had to remind myself to do the best I could and when in doubt to ask for help.

            After my passport forgetting fiasco, I was able to join the team in ‘conducting’ research.  ‘Conducting’ research was quite interesting as we had 7 local authorities accompany us everywhere we went. Foreigners are not allowed to conduct research in Vietnam without government approval. This includes providing them with the rationale for the research, a research agenda/protocol detailing where you will visit and the exact times, as well as how many people will be coming to do the research. We were only expecting 1 authority—two at most, but were really surprised that this much came. Only the head researcher from the US, a local translator and government officials were allowed to enter the room, which made for an interesting dynamic.  While waiting for the interviews to be completed—anywhere between 30 minutes to 1 hour, we sat, wherever we could. My Tho was so much hotter than the city, so finding shelter from the sun was a priority.

Most of the places we sat and waited were at people's homes: This was my favourite!

            During the waiting time, my supervisor suggested I interviewed the female local authorities to get their opinions on the work and how its been helping women. I had no questions written down, but thanks to learning so much about the projects before arriving, I was able to think of good questions to ask! I definitely had a social worker ‘thrill’ moment, and had to try really hard to mask my excitement about such hands on experience. We sat mostly on the ground or on stools, so this made things feel less formal, and one of my co-workers translated for me. When I had asked all of my questions pertaining to the projects, I put into practice something I observed while assisting Professor Delaney- a dear professor from undergrad, with research in East Timor. At the end of every interview, Professor Delaney would make it a point to ask whoever she interviewed—whether a single individual or a community of 50 people, if they had any questions for and about her. People’s faces would lit up at this offer! We often rush to get information from people for the sake of research, without even given them the option of having a glimpse into our reality. 

          Reminded of this, I asked the two women I had interviewed if they had any questions for me, about me, to which they smiled and then responded with several questions! Where are you from? Barbados—Where is that? How old are you? Are you married? What are you studying? By the end of our exchange; through asking more questions, I got to learn about how they got into this field of work, where they were from in Vietnam, and about their families. I also received the translation: ‘They say you tell you: You are cute!’ to which I responded ‘Cam on!’ (Thank you!); received big smiles and the both literally started to pinch my cheeks! AKWARD and FUNNY?= YES! As much as I HATE having my larger-than life cheeks being pulled at, I was glad that it served to ‘break the ice’, as we were all laughing by the end of it. Later that week, the government officials gave us rides to the remote places. I received a ride from one of the female authorities who had a black and white polka-dot motorcycle helmet. One day she showed up in a shirt that matched it perfectly!

Rice Paddies & the ever-stylish local authority who gave me rides to interviewees' homes

            Although I wish I could hear firsthand the women’s experiences, I still got a lot out of the experience! I got to see the full houses and house repairs Habitat has done over the years. We went to about 15 of them, and each neighborhood or ‘hem’—alleyway, was different. 

Scenes from the neighbourhoods:
 The first two pictures at the top and the house at the bottom right are examples of  Habitat full houses

            The contrast between extreme poverty and increasing wealth was evident in the range of homes. Sometimes, side-by side or across the way, you’d find a low-income or  a near or fully dilapidated home, opposite a house of epic proportions considering the surroundings.  The physical locations also varied considerably. One was down a narrow--and noisy, alleyway at a home that faced an outdoor market. Another was more remote and we had to take a motorcycle to get there, which provided us with a view of the bluest of skies and lush green fields of rice.  

These two homes were side-by side: The 1st is a repair by Habitat and across the street was this huge house

            My Tho was so different in pace, size and economic status from Ho Chi Minh City—at least what I’ve seen of it. Nestled around the Mekong Delta, instead of the continuous buzz of motorcycles and traffic and skyscrapers, modestly sized buildings and daring structures on stilts were found. I could see the sun setting clearly and the air was full of sounds of boats of various sizes, chugging through the water, and people carrying on selling an array of trades.

Sights from My Tho

           

            

Accidental Passport Woes in My Tho

      Dear Passport, it would have been nice if I had remembered you

           After months of planning, the time came for us to head out to where we would be conducting the research. I was so excited to see first-hand the projects I’ve been learning so much about and to meet the people in the communities who either received full houses or home-repairs through Habitat. Our research took us to a city along the Mekong Delta called My Tho (pronounced something like ‘Mi Tha’) in Tien Giang (pronounced something like ‘Tien Ziang’). Unfortunately, after driving two hours and arriving at our hotel, I realized that I forgot my passport back in Ho Chi Minh City, and even with copies of it, I was told I couldn’t check-in. We had a meeting with the local government authorities to attend soon after we arrived, and hoped we’d have a better chance that I could stay without it. However, we resolved before leaving that if their answer was ‘no’, I would take a bus to the city and back to pick it up…As I dreaded, I was told I couldn’t stay without it and had to make my way back to the city alone—seeing my supervisor and co-worker on the trip had to stay to ensure things ran smoothly. I was not looking forward to this especially after a conversation about the multiple buses I would have to take and transfers that needed to be made. Anxiety was in high gear and I left the government office with several pieces of paper that detailed all the steps I needed to take, complete with questions written in Vietnamese such as ‘Where do I take the express bus from District 6 to District 10?’ 

The steps: My Tho-HCMC-My Tho complete with questions in Vietnamese( to the top)

            The heat was sweltering as I waited at the small Mai Linh Bus station in My Tho, and the bus arrived 30 minutes behind ‘schedule’.  They provided all of us with bottles of water and pre-packed refreshing wipes. I was secretly wishing that snacks would magically appear from the container, as I forgot all of my snacks in my bag that I left at the hotel will my co-workers. I had with me an abundance of citrus fruit—oranges and tangerines given to me by one of the local authorities as I left. Considering— thanks to food-allergies my bodies low tolerance to anything highly acidic, I thought it best that now is not the time to experiment with eating oranges fruits for the first time in over two years. I managed to sleep for most of the ride for my first leg of the journey, and once arriving to District 6, I had to heavily rely on bus conductors pointing me in numerous directions. There wasn’t very much English happening besides ‘Yes’, ‘Wait’ or ‘Go, that one’—waving in a vague direction to a sea of buses. I found the Express Bus to take to District 10, where I the needed to by my ticket back to My Tho, but before hailing a taxi to go back to my place to pick up my passport. 

 Bus Ticket & Bus Transfers which I mostly did not understand

            After retrieving my passport I thought it best to grab a quick lunch and make it back to the station, as I was given conflicting times about when the bus would leave. I was first told the schedule said 3:30pm, but then it was written down as 2:30pm on the ticket. I got there around 2pm, and I didn’t sit long before a bus came and was put on the bus. Now, I was told that unlike the multiple transfers like last time, I would just need to get on the bus which left from District 10 and it would be a straight journey to My Tho. Within 15 minutes, I found myself back at District 6, everyone had to get off the bus, and ended up being told to ‘Come’ and ‘Sit here’ in front of the bus I needed to take company’s desk waiting over 30 minutes.

 Some of the sights as I sat waiting in front of the Mai-Linh Bus/Taxi kiosk

           Situations like these I can tolerate a lot more when I have company. Being on my own, that’s a whole different story. Not having a clue what was happening, when I would actually leave, wondering if I got the right bus ticket in the first place; disgusted by the strong waft of urine that greeted my every time the wind-blew and having a group of men smoke around me was albeit too much. It didn’t help that I was obviously a rare sighting as several persons would walk by, backtrack and stop and stare. If a song were to play out of thin-air like it does on TV, the song would be from ‘One of these Things is not like the other’ from Sesame Street. Eventually, I was told to ‘Come, follow’ and was lead past some vendors along the back of a long row of parked buses. I was pointed to the one I was supposed to take, and seeing all of them are the same colour, I tried to confirm this was it asking the man who led me there ‘MY THO? MY THO?’ and then the two ladies who sat beside me. We waited for close to an hour before we left, and without knowing when, I fell asleep. I’m grateful that the bus driver made it a point to wake me up 5 minutes before my stop in My Tho, as this bus was making its way to multiple-destinations.

            I called the others to let them know I made it back to My Tho and to see if they were already back at the hotel.  Once I found out they were there and finished with interviews for the day, I took a taxi compliments of Mai Linh back to our hotel. My mistake of forgetting my passport resulted in 6+ hours of travel time back and forth. I returned tired, in a deplorable mood and fully embodied the phrase ‘a hot mess’. After a quick rest, I joined the rest for dinner and my mood was soon lifted thanks to good conversation and laughs. While I would not want to repeat this experience, I can definitely say I can file this one down as one of my ‘unforgettable’ travel moments. I was glad that amongst what little I did have with me in my backpack, I found my journal. Printed with the words ‘Embrace Possibility. Live Your Dream’ and a slightly toned-down lime-green colour, recently I have mostly been unmotivated to write in it. I was grateful to have it in that moment to able to document my reactions to the experience in the moment and capture the sights and sounds as vividly as I could.

Cambodia Dreamin'

(Possiblity of Visit: Signs at the Angkor Wat like this were found everywhere and caused a good laugh)

Cambodia, a dream come true is the best way to describe it. Cambodia has been on my list of places to travel ever since I studied abroad in Thailand in 2008.  Now that I’m back in South-East Asia, I was hoping I could visit at least one other country in this region I hadn’t before. Thanks to Tet, the Vietnamese New Year, which renders everything in the city closed for a week, I got to go to Siem Reap, Cambodia for a full week. I arrived and it was surprisingly stress-free going through immigration. The immigration officer simply asked where Barbados was, smiled and said ‘Welcome to Cambodia!’. I was spending the first few days in Cambodia with my friend Alissa, my sister Jamila’s friend, who is currently running an Ngo there.

            Alissa was at work when I arrived, but we had planned for me to take a cab to the central part of town and she’d meet me there after work. I was hoping I’d have roaming with my Vietnamese number, but it didn’t, which turned out to not be a huge hassle as once you got out to arrivals, there were booths advertising sim-cards for sale. I got a sim for $3US and was the owner of a Cambodia cell-phone number within my first 15 minutes of being there! I was able to call Alissa, make sure I wasn’t being cheated for the price of the cab, and met her at The Blue Pumpkin. On my drive from the airport to meet Alissa at The Blue Pumpkin, I was so in awe of the difference and pace of life here in Siem Reap, versus Ho Chi Minh City. The traffic was bare to none and most of the vehicles on the roads were tuk-tuks, a few cars and trucks and lots of bicycles. School had just ended and there were droves of boys and girls laughing and talking as the cycled their way home in big groups. Along The National Road—the major highway we took, there were dozens of hotels, many of which where large in stature and were designed to resemble a Wat—temple.

            I arrived at the Blue Pumpkin—which I later referred to as ‘Blue Watermelon’ to Sayaka, and I didn’t live that moment down anytime soon!  It was a glorious café/restaurant with the best fresh sorbet, desserts and a fun upstairs lounge with long white couches with big comfy pillows. I am sure I visited here at least once each day I was there. They had good internet reception and I was able to video Skype with my sister Jams—which is a luxury because video Skype seems to hate working in Vietnam! What good timing it was as Alissa showed up and we were all able to chat for a few minutes!

            My stay in Siem Reap was amazing in so many ways, and if I were to go into every detail, this blog entry would be several pages long. So instead, here’s the best of my best moments and pictures to speak for them! :)

Alissa & Kinal introducing me to the best of Siem Reap: from a secluded restaurant rated by travel experts as the best restaurant in Siem Reap, to The Blue Pumpkin café and inviting me to celebrate the Chinese New Year with Kinal’s family they gave my such a great introduction to Cambodia! I also got to help Alissa out at the Ngo she runs for a few hours, and it was fun to see the work up-close.

 (Offerings to Celebrate the Chinese New Year)

Reuniting with Sayaka:  I had the best treat in Siem Reap getting to meet my close friend and fellow student from Boston College Sayaka!!! She’s also doing an internship with Habitat for Humanity, but based about an hour away from Siem Reap.  From adventuring to Angkor Wat in the blazing sun; great conversation and countless jokes, to waking up at 4:30am to see the sunrise at Angkor Wat, ‘Always Awesome’ Sayaka made a great travel partner! Our reunion at the hotel when we first met up was apparently memorable as these two ladies who were staying at our hotel approached us while we were at the temples and remarked how cute it was watching our excitement.

 One of the amazing temples we visited!

 Many of the ancient temples had trees growing through them-beautiful!

 Always Awesome Sayaka & Joy Bear at Angkor Wat for the sunrise!

 (The most beautiful sunrise at Angkor Wat!!!)

Wandering Siem Reap Town

            The town itself was small enough to walk around most of it easily. During the day I was usually on my own, and would take time exploring the shops, sitting and reading books during lunch. Also, on one of the days, I went on a free tour—tuk –tuk ride included at a workshop where they make organic products—from coffee and tea to candles and soaps. At the end I was given a discount on whatever I bought and a coupon for a free foot-massage at a reputable spa and it ended up being a good day of relaxing and pampering.

 Favourite Street in Siem Reap Town! 

Senteurs d'Angkor Workshop: freshly made incense sticks drying in the sun

            I LOVED Cambodia, and I could go on and on about how amazing it was, but that would be never ending. I don’t think I’ll make it back to Siem Reap again—its 12 hours by bus from there to Ho Chi Minh City, and I was glad I flew there and back for the first trip. I’ll definitely visit again soon, but to Phnom Penh instead, which is only 6 hours away by bus! I’m excited to see another part of Cambodia, and other friends/classmates who are there—Shauna and Jennie!

Happy! :)

Thanks for a great week Siem Reap, Cambodia!

The Funny, Absurd & Unwanted: Times in HCMC

 (A visit to the park to see floral displays celebrating Tet, there was a fun section with detailed art work made from fruits, vegetables etc- this one was paying tribute to Ho Chi Minh)

I’ve had some interesting moments being here so far, and I thought I would share some of them with you: the absurd, the funny, and the not so great.

Playing a Mouse: Yes people, in my earlier days of being here, once I moved into my apartment, there was a big gap at the bottom of the door. Ever since a horrific experience of rats crawling into my sleeping bag with me in it on a service trip I went on, I am literally petrified—if I wasn’t enough before, of rats and mice. On my last day at the first hotel I stayed at here, I was walking towards my room and saw a mouse trying to get through the door. I literally went into a state of panic on the stairs and ran away for a bit until I couldn’t see it anymore. Not knowing any Vietnamese I HAD TO find a way to communicate that the door needed to be fixed. So yes, I turned to charades and imitated a mouse, including the ‘squeezing’ action of it trying to get under the door. After several tries, my point came across. Non-verbal communication, I love you most in times like these.

Morning Conversations: Every morning I engage in a conversation of sorts with the lady at the front desk. It involves saying ‘Xin Chao-hello!’, ‘Good morning!!’ *insert smiles*, a compliment on each others choice of clothing for the day and my earring collection has been a great hit with her. She then speaks Vietnamese to me—most of which I don’t understand so insert lots of smiles*, I respond in English and 5 minutes later, we say goodbye. For the majority of our conversation we do not understand each other, but it’s always great to have this as my first exchange with a person each day.

Karaoke & Jack Hammer Terrors:

The Karaoke bar nearby has a booming business, as at any time of the day or night, there are people singing, and of course it is terrible. The record time was someone singing at 2:30am. The funny thing is the volume on the microphone comes and goes, so just as I think it dies down, it suddenly raises to the loudest volume possible, and the person might as well be serenading to me in my room. Yes that loud.

            Also, having someone in the building upstairs decide to do repairs from 12:00am past 2:00am with a jackhammer made for a delightful time. The entire bed was shaking and I eventually ended up bursting into a fit of laughter because I couldn’t think of anything else to do.

Building a Friendship: Across from the office, there is one family who’s daughter- I’m guessing is almost 2 yrs old, is too adorable for me to cope with! Usually on seeing me or any foreigner she runs to her mother and tries to scale her mother’s legs in fright. However, lots of smiles and waves to her have paid off, as I now get kisses blown to me as I leave work and she will always wave goodbye! The cutest!!

Lock-Out: While going to get dinner a few nights ago, I forgot to pick up my keys. Who tell me to do that? The end result was I had to wait 3 hours to be let in, seeing the landlord does not leave the keys with security. I had no cutlery to eat the food I just purchased—and the rice I had to put with it was in my fridge and I was so hungry. After attempting to pick the lock and failing terribly, I accepted defeat, and thank goodness for the coffee shop next door. My mood soon lifted thanks to a dessert I shouldn’t have eaten-thanks to food allergies, and my favorite thing to order ‘Vanilla Ceylon tea, with a honey stick’ YUM!

The Art Scene: This past weekend, I went to an arts and craft fair that displayed works ranging from jewelry, handmade cards, to hand made soaps. I ended up buying vanilla and coconut soaps from a couple that recently started their business and chatting with them quite a bit.

Valentine’s Day, Vietnam Edition: I was invited to a ‘girls night out’ by a new friend I met through my supervisor, at an Italian restaurant in the heart of the city. Most of us didn’t know each other—they were all friends with the one person who planned it, but it turned out to be a really fun night! We were greeted which champagne and the house appetizer and spent the time chatting away. Everyone was doing really amazing things here in Vietnam, from working as teachers and graphic designers to development work and managing the sales of luxury brands. We made quite an eclectic group and by the end of the night, everyone was happy they came. Also, the restaurant gave us all roses as we left, a nice way to end the night!

Things to come: I’m really excited to be going out to conduct the research next week! We’ll be in a province a few hours away, and many of the clients are in somewhat remote areas. It’ll be a big contrast to the city, and I’m looking forward to observing a different side to Vietnam.

Until my next bout of unplanned absurd, hilarious and not so pleasant stand-out moments!

-Joy 

Finding Peace

(Sunrise at Angkor Wat, Siem Reap, Cambodia)

Peace. Not the life topic or lesson I anticipated learning, but it bore its promising self and was essential to find hope in a work week full of unexpected challenges, frustrations and questions. There was one barrier being presented after the next for us working on the project, whether other people were causing it or just how life unfolds at times. Regardless of the source of conflict, there are a few lessons I’ll hold on to and some things I was reminded to be grateful for:

Motivation: Based on the events of this past week, I’ve been rethinking how important one’s motives are to be in this field. Are you here to help not hinder? Are you here because you care or because it’s just a job? Personally, such questions have been repeating thoughts of mine. Am I doing this for the right reasons? Do I truly want to commit my life to working in a field where problems often seem to outweigh the solutions? Do I have the capacity to balance seeing may negative situations people live with daily and take the immense frustration I feel because of it and use it for something good? How much can I withstand balancing being culturally relative—acknowledging how social norms and values impact a society in an unbiased manner, and knowing when its time to challenge things which can compromise the goals and vision of the work at hand? I haven’t felt this bombarded with questions about my existence and how the world or a different culture functions in a long time.

Support: Often, being this far away, where my morning is still yesterday for family and friends, feeling disconnected is almost inevitable at times.  There’s been a few times when I’ve come across a situation or experience something and I literally cannot have a conversation with someone because of the time difference. However, everything fell into place this week and in the moment I needed it the most, I felt surrounded by good thoughts and support. I was reminded of why I am here, and its how I respond to the challenges that makes the difference. I’m grateful for being surrounded by people who know when to listen, what I need to hear and when I need to hear it. You know who you are, and although you could do nothing to change the circumstances of this week, the level of care spoke volumes. THANK YOU!

Peace:

            In a field such as this, the term ‘peace’ is often linked to war or conflict and its many consequences. We pray for peace when we hear of people being terrorized, or when we hear atrocious stories of child-soldiers and victims of rape as a weapon of war. While this has its place, I think when people can’t find food to feed their families, when people are trafficked; when their human rights are violated to a point that makes them feel inferior, it is not only unjust. There is no peace in this. Yet, the fact that people can withstand more negativity and injustice than positive experiences and remain hopeful shows that peace begins in us. I’ll forever be grateful to my friend Alicia—one of my world-changing classmates, for sharing the quote at the end of this post that has challenged and inspired me.

I’ve received so much encouragement this past week, and although I’m somewhat anxious about what the up-coming week will hold, I have a sense of resolve that determination trumps challenge. The least I can do is to share this renewed sense of optimism. Wherever you are in life and whatever you may be experiencing in this moment, hope, pray; believe for peace to come into your life and others.

Peace.

It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.

It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

~ Unknown