 |
| "Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold"- 2 Corinthians 3:12 |
A
month has passed since I packed two suitcases, the contents of which—along with
a few new purchases, took me through my time in
Vietnam. I left this place, more burdened about the future and my next steps, than a sense of dread of leaving a place where I invested almost 6 months of
myself in. Colourful photos shared
depicted the visual environment around me: a complex web of nature and the
industrial, of tradition and modernity, of the hierarchy of wealth and issues of
social justice. Still, my time there holds poignant moment tinges of frustration and sadness I thought I'd share.
The
cultural environment I came to know proved difficult on many levels, and there’s
a negative side of how things function there--as there is in every culture, that I got to see up-close. There were few places I felt as though I could be myself, not get stared or pointed at, or approached in public not because of people’s interest as me as an
individual, but to ask questions regarding my race. Having had most of my
travel experience in South-East Asia, and experienced this particular issue
before, I thought I’d be able to deal with it a lot better. I found that the frequency and the way in which it was done, often aggressive, was overwhelming. I found it
difficult to deal with the sense of isolation, as the city is segregated into
communities of locals, diplomats, Asian-expats, ‘Other’ expats, the
teaching-English crowd, and the over-indulgent foreigners who come for drugs,
sex and all things counter-productive. I
struggled with how people are made to feel fearful to speak up about things
that are unjust, that impact their work, their daily decisions, and their lives. Yet they endure it, in the interest of their family and themselves. In being there, my concept of what
constitutes human rights was repeatedly challenged, and I don’t think the
questions and queries that Vietnam has stirred in me will be resolved easily. Yet, I saw how determined many people
are to make a way and challenge things in the safest; best way they know how,
and how this can yield positive results for them.
Deciding
to share in more detail some of the ‘messy bits’ of living and working in a different
country is always a challenge for me. Words have the ability, even unintentionally, taint others views in some way. Still, I think it’s
important to share these challenges to those who’ve kept up on this journey
with me, and a bit selfishly, to be honest with myself. Thich Nhat Hanh once
remarked:
“Life can be found only in the present moment.
The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”
The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”
Such a sentiment encompasses
what I often had to will myself, and be encouraged to do: see my time there,
the good and the unpleasant as part of my present, a moment that won’t be
relived elsewhere.
I entitled this blog ‘Hope as A Constant Motion', a thought
that struck me as I had begun to prepare myself in the months prior to arriving
in Vietnam. Now, it means more to me than I could have predicted. ‘Hope as A
Constant Motion’ describes in totality what my time in Ho Chi Minh City was. I’ve
been encouraged, broken down, laughed, cried, learnt and taught. I have
resented life and the injustices it can bring to people, and found new reasons
to believe as people, despite the ‘odds’ transform life and empower themselves.
I’ve seen new life come to fruition, and experienced varying depths of grief
from losing others to death. For most of my time there, I
struggled daily with the thought of losing my grandfather, and not being
present with him when he needed it most, because I was investing time in this
internship. The belief he showed in his support of me pursing my future, gave
me hope, and willed me on when I wanted to abandon it all. My last
phone-calls, jokes, ‘Hi Joy-Joy’s’ and smiles with and from him on video chat
were all experienced in my apartment in Ho Chi Minh City, all of which I look
back on and I'm thankful for.
My
last weekend in Ho Chi Minh City was spent with most of the persons that made
Vietnam a positive experience for me. I can’t think of a better way I could
have spent this time. Their presence in my life, their words and gestures, are
engrained in my ever-evolving life-story, and I truly believe God was doing
purpose work that we encountered each other.
 |
| Great final memories in Vietnam :) |
I’ve learnt that its not
always about the quantity of those that surround you, but the quality of the
people. I was able to surround myself there with a handful of the kindest, most
selfless persons I have ever met. I was reminded of those people who were in my
life prior to my travel to Vietnam, who had and continue to pour love,
encouragement and challenging words of wisdom on me. For all and in all these
things I am hopeful and will tell myself to walk in faith and be hopeful in all
things. Thanks for sharing this experience with me: for listening ears, reading, uplifting words and profound insight, and overall supporting me from afar.
